“It’s time to do good!” This year’s motto is especially relevant for our children. This time we look at the question of how we can encourage our children in a positive way.
Children develop courage to the extent that they discover their inner strength, which in turn boosts their confidence in their own abilities. This process begins as soon as they climb the first flight of stairs.
Giving children positive reinforcement makes them proud and encourages them to expand their motor skills and their range of experience. By trying out new things, children experience success, learn to accept their limits, and can learn from their mistakes.
Courage thrives on encouragement and the basic need of every human being to be loved and valued. Children who experience a lot of criticism and little reinforcement in their immediate environment lose faith in themselves. On the other hand, those who feel accepted can learn to accept their own strengths and weaknesses. It is important to remember that courage can also mean not doing something, clearly defining your own limits, and not being ashamed of it.
By setting an example, parents can show children how courage can be distinguished from overconfidence, and how they can find a good balance between courage and accepting their own limits.
Six magical phrases that will encourage children.
- “I see you.”
With this phrase, parents show interest in a situation, helping the child to build confidence by validating their activity and the experience they are having.
- “Not yet.”
These two little words can motivate a child. When she is frustrated because she cannot do the somersault, and her father helps her understand that she is not capable of doing it just yet, it helps her to cope with the challenge and practise a little more—to eventually attain the goal.
- “I believe you.”
An important sentence, especially when a child tells you from their point of view what they are afraid of and why. This answer can lead to a conversation that helps to overcome fear.
- “How was that for you?”
When parents ask their children how they feel about something, they are not making a direct judgement about a situation but encouraging them to think about it and formulate their feelings.
- “You did it!”
The phrase expresses appreciation, validates achievement, and helps boost a child’s self-worth.
- “I love you.”
Parents should say this important phrase not only when their children succeed, but even when they fail. It teaches children that their parents’ love, appreciation, and respect does not depend on their performance and allows them to develop the courage to define their limits and say no occasionally.
Foto: millaf – stock.adobe.com
About the author
Natascha Wolf is a teacher and principal at a primary school. She has three children. She is also a Sunday School teacher and conductor of the district children’s choir in Rottweil, Germany.